# Does the Big Book say a newcomer has to do it A.A.'s way? ("…prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him")

**In short:**
- No. Chapter 7 tells the member that if the newcomer "thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience" ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)), because "We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).
- The same page says the newcomer "must decide for himself whether he wants to go on" and "should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends" ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)), and: "Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop" ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).
- What the book does ask of the member is to tell exactly what happened to him and outline the program of action ([pp. 93–94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)): "Stress the spiritual feature freely." ([p. 93](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)); if the man argues he need not follow all of it, don't contradict him, but tell him "you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action" ([p. 94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-94/)).
- The book does not say the other way will work. Its claim for its own path is strong ("Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path," [p. 58](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-58/)), and if the man is "not interested in your solution" and only wants a banker or a nurse for his sprees, the member "may have to drop him until he changes his mind" ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)). It leaves him free; it doesn't promise him anything.

## The page in question ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/))

The line comes near the end of the first-visit instructions in Chapter 7, "Working With Others." The chapter is written to the member making the call, not to the newcomer, so everything on the page is about how the member should behave.

The run of instructions on [pp. 94–95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-94/) is all in one direction:

- "Make it clear that he is not under pressure, that he needn't see you again if he doesn't want to." ([p. 94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-94/)).
- If he "may give reasons why he need not follow all of the program," "Do not contradict such views." Tell him "you once felt as he does, but you doubt whether you would have made much progress had you not taken action." ([p. 94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-94/)).
- Don't let him rush: "Sometimes a new man is anxious to proceed at once, and you may be tempted to let him do so. This is sometimes a mistake." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).
- "You will be most successful with alcoholics if you do not exhibit any passion for crusade or reform. Never talk down to an alcoholic from any moral or spiritual hilltop; simply lay out the kit of spiritual tools for his inspection." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).
- After he has read the book, "he must decide for himself whether he wants to go on. He should not be pushed or prodded by you, his wife, or his friends. If he is to find God, the desire must come from within." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).
- Then: "If he thinks he can do the job in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his own conscience. We have no monopoly on God; we merely have an approach that worked with us." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)). The member should still "point out that we alcoholics have much in common" and say he "would like, in any case, to be friendly. Let it go at that." ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)).

On the second visit, if the man says he is ready "to go through with the Twelve Steps," the member is to let him know he is available for the decision and the Fifth Step, "but do not insist upon it if he prefers to consult someone else" ([p. 96](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-96/)).

## Where the same attitude appears elsewhere

Chapter 7 says it again about conceptions of God: "If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception of God. He can choose any conception he likes, provided it makes sense to him." ([p. 93](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)). If he belongs to a religion, "Let him see that you are not there to instruct him in religion." ([p. 93](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)). "We represent no particular faith or denomination." ([pp. 93–94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)).

Chapter 2, written to the reader: "We have no desire to convince anyone that there is only one way by which faith can be acquired." ([p. 28](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-28/)). What religious body a member joins "should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself" ([p. 28](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-28/)).

Chapter 4 says that how each member "approaches and conceives of the Power which is greater than himself" varies widely, and "They are questions for each individual to settle for himself." ([p. 50](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-50/)).

Chapter 6, on Step Eleven: "Be quick to see where religious people are right. Make use of what they offer." ([p. 87](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-87/)).

The last page: "Our book is meant to be suggestive only. We realize we know only a little." ([p. 164](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-164/)).

## What the book does not say

It does not say that any approach is as good as another, or that the member should keep quiet about his own. The newcomer's freedom and the member's honesty sit side by side:

- "Stress the spiritual feature freely." ([p. 93](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)). The member tells "exactly what happened to you" ([p. 93](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)) and outlines "the program of action" ([p. 94](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-94/)).
- If the man "is not interested in your solution, if he expects you to act only as a banker for his financial difficulties or a nurse for his sprees, you may have to drop him until he changes his mind" ([p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/)). The next page: "We find it a waste of time to keep chasing a man who cannot or will not work with you." ([p. 96](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-96/)).
- In Chapter 5 the book is firm about its own path: "Rarely have we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path." ([p. 58](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-58/)). "Half measures availed us nothing." ([p. 59](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-59/)). "Some of us have tried to hold on to our old ideas and the result was nil until we let go absolutely." ([p. 58](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-58/)).

So the Big Book's answer is two-sided. The member is told not to pressure, preach or claim a monopoly, and to encourage a man who prefers another way to follow his conscience. The book makes no claim that another way will work for him; its claim is only for the path it describes, and only for those who follow it thoroughly. Whether the man takes that path is, on [p. 95](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-95/), his decision alone.

See: *Is "Working With Others" about sponsorship?*, *Can we approach someone who is still drinking?*, *What if the person I'm helping doesn't want it?*, *Does Step 12 require believing in God a certain way?*, *Are the Steps rules or suggestions?*

## Read it yourself
- Chapter 7, "Working With Others" ([pp. 93–96](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-93/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt7.pdf
- Chapter 2, "There Is a Solution" ([p. 28](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-28/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt2.pdf
- Chapter 4, "We Agnostics" ([p. 50](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-50/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt4.pdf
- Chapter 5, "How It Works" ([pp. 58–59](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-58/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt5.pdf
- Chapter 6, "Into Action" ([p. 87](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-87/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt6.pdf
- Chapter 11, "A Vision for You" ([p. 164](https://recoverystarts.com/big-book/page-164/)): https://www.aa.org/sites/default/files/2021-11/en_bigbook_chapt11.pdf
- The full book: https://onlineliterature.aa.org

## Sources
| Source | Pages | Date |
|---|---|---|
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 2 | 28 | 1939 |
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 4 | 50 | 1939 |
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 5 | 58–59 | 1939 |
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 6 | 87 | 1939 |
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 7 | 93–96 | 1939 |
| *Alcoholics Anonymous*, Chapter 11 | 164 | 1939 |

*Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Quotations are brief and cited; the Big Book is © A.A. World Services, Inc.*