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What does "pause, when agitated or doubtful" mean, and where is it?

In short:

  • It's on page 87 of the Big Book, near the end of Chapter 6, "Into Action," in the explanation of Step Eleven: "As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action." (p. 87)
  • The pause isn't just stopping to calm down. It's a pause to ask, a short prayer in the middle of the day, and it goes with reminding ourselves "we are no longer running the show" and saying "Thy will be done" (pp. 87–88).
  • It's the third part of a day the book lays out for Step Eleven: a review at night, a meditation in the morning, and this pause through the day (pp. 86–88). The book says the result is "much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions" (p. 88).
  • The book gives no method beyond this: no set words, no length of time. And the phrase "restraint of pen and tongue," sometimes heard alongside this practice, is not in the Big Book or anywhere else in our sources.

Where it sits: Step Eleven's day (pp. 85–88)

"Step Eleven suggests prayer and meditation." (p. 85) The book offers "some definite and valuable suggestions" (p. 86), in the order of a day:

  1. At night (p. 86), review the day: "Were we resentful, selfish, dishonest or afraid?" (p. 86), and was there anything to apologize for or to discuss with someone. Don't drift into worry or remorse, "for that would diminish our usefulness to others." (p. 86)
  2. On waking (pp. 86–87), think about the twenty-four hours ahead and ask God to direct our thinking, free of self-pity and dishonest or self-seeking motives (p. 86). When we can't decide, "we ask God for inspiration, an intuitive thought or a decision." (p. 86) "We relax and take it easy. We don't struggle." (p. 86) Close by asking to be shown through the day "what our next step is to be" (p. 87).
  3. Through the day (pp. 87–88): the pause.

The sentence and the ones around it

"As we go through the day we pause, when agitated or doubtful, and ask for the right thought or action." (p. 87) Then, without a break: "We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day 'Thy will be done.'" (pp. 87–88)

So the pause has three parts in the text:

  • When: agitated (upset, stirred up) or doubtful (unsure what to do). The book doesn't define the two words; they're ordinary words, and the morning passage has already dealt with indecision (p. 86).
  • What: "ask for the right thought or action" (p. 87). It's a request, the same kind as the morning's request for "an intuitive thought or a decision" (p. 86).
  • With what in mind: that we are "no longer running the show" (p. 87). This echoes Step Three's actor who "wants to run the whole show" (p. 60). See: What do "selfishness—self-centeredness!" and "self-will run riot" mean in the Big Book?

The book's account of what it does: "We are then in much less danger of excitement, fear, anger, worry, self-pity, or foolish decisions." (p. 88) "We become much more efficient." (p. 88) "We do not tire so easily, for we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves." (p. 88) "It works—it really does." (p. 88)

Its roots in Bill's story

A similar instruction is in Chapter 1, in what Bill's friend passed on to him in the hospital: "I was to sit quietly when in doubt, asking only for direction and strength to meet my problems as He would have me." (p. 13) And: "Never was I to pray for myself, except as my requests bore on my usefulness to others." (p. 13)

The Step Eleven chapter carries the same limit. In the morning prayer we "are careful to make no request for ourselves only" (p. 87), though "We may ask for ourselves, however, if others will be helped." (p. 87)

What the book adds and doesn't add

  • A caution. Earlier on the same page, the book warns a newcomer against expecting to be inspired every time: "it is not probable that we are going to be inspired at all times." (p. 87) We "might pay for this presumption in all sorts of absurd actions and ideas." (p. 87) Over time, it says, our thinking will be "more and more on the plane of inspiration" (p. 87).
  • No method. The book doesn't say how long to pause, what words to use, or that it must be said aloud. It doesn't use the word "pause" as a slogan; it's a verb in one sentence.
  • Not the end. The chapter's last lines turn from prayer to action: "There is action and more action." (p. 88) The next chapter is Step Twelve.

Elsewhere in the program text the same verb turns up once, in a different setting: Chapter 8 tells the wife of an alcoholic, "When resentful thoughts come, try to pause and count your blessings." (p. 119)

"Restraint of pen and tongue"

The phrase is sometimes heard alongside this practice, so it was checked. All our sources were searched for "restraint of pen," "pen and tongue" and "restraint of tongue." None of them is in the Big Book, the pamphlets, the histories, the stories or the Service Manual in our sources. The page reports the absence; where the phrase comes from is outside what our sources can show.

See: What do Steps 10 and 11 ask, day to day? · What does "Thy will be done" mean in the Big Book?

Read it yourself

Sources

Source Pages Date
All our sources (searched for "restraint of pen," "pen and tongue," "restraint of tongue") — various
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 1, "Bill's Story" 13 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 5, "How It Works" 60 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6, "Into Action" 85–88 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 8, "To Wives" 119 1939

Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Quotations are brief and cited; the Big Book is © A.A. World Services, Inc.

These pages answer questions about A.A. from A.A.'s own published literature, read in full, with every quote checked word for word against the page it cites. Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. What we read, and when each source was written.