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What does the Big Book say about amends that could cost you your job or put you in jail?

In short:

  • The Big Book takes this case up directly in Chapter 6: a criminal offence that "might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities," money we're short in our accounts, a wrong where "we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it were known" (p. 78).
  • Its starting point is willingness to pay: we ask for strength to do the right thing "no matter what the personal consequences may be" (p. 79), and "We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing." (p. 79)
  • But other people are usually involved, so "we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly sacrifice others to save himself" (p. 79). Before drastic action that might implicate others, "we secure their consent" (p. 80), consult with others and ask God's help; then, if the drastic step is still indicated, "we must not shrink" (p. 80).
  • The book doesn't tell anyone to walk into a police station, and it doesn't say to stay quiet either. It gives two worked examples (pp. 79–80) and leaves the decision to be made with the people affected and with God.

The situations the book names (p. 78)

Right after creditors, Chapter 6 lists harder cases, in the reader's own voice:

  • "Perhaps we have committed a criminal offense which might land us in jail if it were known to the authorities." (p. 78)
  • "We may be short in our accounts and unable to make good." (p. 78)
  • We have already admitted it "in confidence to another person" (p. 78), but we are sure we would be imprisoned or lose our job if it came out (p. 78).
  • "Maybe it's only a petty offense such as padding the expense account. Most of us have done that sort of thing." (p. 78)
  • Unpaid alimony to a first wife, who "has a warrant out for our arrest" (p. 79). "That's a common form of trouble too." (p. 79)

The general principles (p. 79)

"Although these reparations take innumerable forms, there are some general principles which we find guiding." (p. 79) The book gives them in this order:

  1. Remember what we decided. We decided "to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience" (p. 79), so we ask for strength and direction to do the right thing, whatever it costs us (p. 79).
  2. Be willing to pay. "We may lose our position or reputation or face jail, but we are willing. We have to be. We must not shrink at anything." (p. 79)
  3. Count the cost to others. "Usually, however, other people are involved." (p. 79) So we are not to be the "hasty and foolish martyr" who sacrifices others to save himself (p. 79).
  4. Get consent. "Before taking drastic action which might implicate other people we secure their consent." (p. 80)
  5. Then act. "If we have obtained permission, have consulted with others, asked God to help and the drastic step is indicated we must not shrink." (p. 80)

The willingness comes first and isn't optional. What the book holds back is haste, and any step that would "needlessly sacrifice others" (p. 79).

The two examples

The alimony warrant (p. 79). A man had stopped paying alimony to his first wife "because of resentment and drinking" (p. 79), and she got an order for his arrest. He had started the A.A. way of life, found a job, and "was getting his head above water" (p. 79). It would have been "impressive heroics" to walk up to the judge and say "Here I am" (p. 79). The book's view: "We thought he ought to be willing to do that if necessary, but if he were in jail he could provide nothing for either family." (p. 79) So he wrote his first wife, admitted his faults, asked forgiveness, sent a small amount of money, told her what he would try to do, and said "he was perfectly willing to go to jail if she insisted" (p. 79). She didn't, and the whole situation "has long since been adjusted" (p. 79).

The slandered rival (p. 80). While drinking, a man took money from a hated business rival without giving a receipt, then denied receiving it and used the story to discredit him, and "his rival was ruined" (p. 80). Making it right meant risking his partner's reputation, his family's good name and his own living (p. 80). "After consulting with his wife and partner" (p. 80), he decided it was better to take those risks "than to stand before his Creator guilty of such ruinous slander" (p. 80). He saw that he had to leave the outcome in God's hands "or he would soon start drinking again, and all would be lost anyhow" (p. 80). He stood up in church and explained. "His action met widespread approval" (p. 80).

In the first case the drastic step wasn't needed; in the second it was taken. In both, the man was willing before he acted, and the people affected were part of the decision.

Why it matters for drinking

The book ties this to sobriety, not just conscience. The second man saw he'd drink if he didn't leave the outcome to God (p. 80). Of money owed, the same page warns "we are liable to drink if we are afraid to face them" (p. 78). And the reason for amends at all is given a page earlier: "we will never get over drinking until we have done our utmost to straighten out the past" (p. 77).

Losing a job, elsewhere in the book

Chapter 10, "To Employers," says that if a recovering employee does get drunk and "is still trying to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job" (p. 146), "For he knows he must be honest if he would live at all." (p. 146) It also tells employers that a man who has accepted the program may confess that "he has padded his expense account" (p. 145), and asks whether they can "charge this off as you would a bad account and start fresh with him" (p. 145). Chapter 8 tells wives who fear the husband will lose his position: "Maybe it will prove a blessing!" (p. 116), if it convinces him to stop drinking.

What the book doesn't say

It doesn't give a rule for every case, it doesn't say to confess every crime to the authorities, and it doesn't say an amends can be skipped because it would cost us. It also says, in the same chapter, "There may be some wrongs we can never fully right" (p. 83), and that there may be "a valid reason for postponement in some cases. But we don't delay if it can be avoided." (p. 83) See: What does Step Nine's "except when to do so would injure them or others" mean? (Do I tell my spouse about an affair?) and How does the Big Book say to make amends?

Read it yourself

Sources

Source Pages Date
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 6, "Into Action" 77–80, 83 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapters 8 and 10 116, 145–146 1939

Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Quotations are brief and cited; the Big Book is © A.A. World Services, Inc.

These pages answer questions about A.A. from A.A.'s own published literature, read in full, with every quote checked word for word against the page it cites. Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. What we read, and when each source was written.