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Who was Henrietta Seiberling?

In short:

  • Henrietta Seiberling was a nonalcoholic member of the Oxford Group in Akron, the daughter-in-law of the founder of the Goodyear rubber company. She lived in the gatehouse of the Seiberling estate.
  • On the Saturday before Mother's Day, May 1935, Bill W., stranded in Akron and afraid he would drink, reached her by telephone after a minister's list of names ran out. She knew of a doctor in her Oxford Group who couldn't stop drinking, and the next afternoon she brought Dr. Bob and Bill together in her home.
  • Bill wrote that she was the only one on that list "who had understood enough and cared enough" (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957), and that A.A.'s debt to her was beyond reckoning. Dr. Bob called her "our good friend Henrietta."
  • The 1939 Big Book doesn't name her; Dr. Bob's story calls her only "a lady" (p. 179). A 1980 history, from her own and other members' recollections, shows she later disagreed with the alcoholics on money, on how much to speak of God, on the book, and on leaving the Oxford Group.

What the 1939 Big Book says

In "Doctor Bob's Nightmare," written in 1939: "About this time a lady called up my wife one Saturday afternoon saying she wanted me to come over that evening to meet a friend of hers who might help me." (p. 179). He was in no shape that day; the next day she called again, and they went (p. 179). Chapter 11 tells the same meeting from Bill's side and doesn't mention her at all; the clergyman's call simply "led him presently to a certain resident of the town" (p. 155). See How did Bill W. and Dr. Bob meet?

Dr. Bob's account (1948)

In his last major talk, printed in P-53, Dr. Bob named her. At the end of Bill's list, "his eyes happened to light on the name of Mrs. Seiberling — our good friend Henrietta" (P-53). She told him, "Come right out and have lunch with me." (P-53), and after hearing his story, "I have just the man for you." (P-53). When Anne put her off, "But Henry is very persistent, a very determined individual." (P-53), and the visit was set for the next day, Sunday and Mother's Day (P-53).

He also recalled asking her, while still drinking, whether she thought he really wanted to stop. She said: "No, Bob, I think you want to. You just haven't found a way to work it yet." (P-53).

Bill's account (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957)

Bill says hers was the last name on a list of about ten from the Rev. Walter Tunks (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). He remembered an elderly Mr. Seiberling, Goodyear's founder, and hesitated to call his wife; when he did, a young Southern voice answered, a Seiberling daughter-in-law (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). She said: "I'm no alcoholic, but I've had my difficulties." (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957), and invited him out: "I live in the gatehouse of the Seiberling place." (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). She had found her answers in the Oxford Groups (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). The next afternoon Dr. Bob and Anne came to her door, and she put the two men in her library (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957).

Bill set his thanks on record: of the ten people on the list, "Henrietta was the only one who had understood enough and cared enough." (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). That first summer she counseled alcoholics' families as Anne did (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). "What Alcoholics Anonymous owes to her will always be beyond anybody's reckoning." (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957). Bill adds that she and the Williamses had tried hard to help Dr. Bob before he came, sharing their own defects with him (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957).

Her own account, and what came later (1980, 1984)

Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (1980) quotes Henrietta's own memories, recorded in 1978, the year before her death (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). It says she was a Vassar graduate with three teenage children, all in the Oxford Group (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). In March or April 1935, before Bill came, a friend asked her what could be done about Bob Smith; she arranged an Oxford Group meeting at the Williamses' at which members shared costly things, and Dr. Bob told them: "I am a secret drinker" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). Praying for him the next morning, she received what she called guidance: "Bob must not touch one drop of alcohol." (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).

She remembered Bill's call on May 11, 1935 this way: "I'm from the Oxford Group, and I'm a rum hound from New York." (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980), and her thought: "This is really manna from heaven." (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). She arranged for Bill to stay at a nearby country club so he could remain in Akron (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).

The same book shows her differences with the alcoholics later on. She thought A.A. should not raise money and that it wasn't putting enough emphasis on God; she told Bill, "We are out to please God." (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). An Akron member, Bob E., recalled that she "didn't like the book" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). When Dr. Bob led the alcoholics out of T. Henry Williams's house in late 1939, another member, Elgie, remembered that she "told Dr. Bob that it was the worst mistake he had ever made" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). The book adds that she later went with the A.A.s, but was not active in Akron for long; she moved to New York, where she died in 1979 (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).

Pass It On (1984) adds that she was separated from her husband, who lived in the main house, Stan Hywet Hall (Pass It On, 1984).

Where the sources differ

  • How Bill found her. Bill (1957) and Dr. Bob (1948) say her name was on the minister's list (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957; P-53). In Henrietta's own telling (1978), a man on the list, Norman Sheppard, told Bill to call her (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).
  • What Bill said on the phone. Bill (1957) says he explained he was an alcoholic from the New York Oxford Groups who needed to help another drunk (A.A. Comes of Age, 1957); she remembered the "rum hound" line (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).
  • The first visit. Dr. Bob (1948) says she asked Bill to lunch (P-53); Henrietta (1978) says he stayed for dinner and she told him to come to church with her the next morning (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980).

Read it yourself

Sources

Source Pages Date
"Doctor Bob's Nightmare," Personal Stories Part I 179 written 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 11 155 1939
P-53, Dr. Bob's last major talk — December 1948; pamphlet © 2017
A.A. Comes of Age — 1957
Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (Henrietta's recollections, 1978) — 1980
Pass It On — 1984

Big Book page numbers are from the fourth edition (2001). Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Quotations are brief and cited; the Big Book, P-53, A.A. Comes of Age, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers and Pass It On are © A.A. World Services, Inc.; Dr. Bob's 1948 talk in P-53 is © AA Grapevine, Inc.*

These pages answer questions about A.A. from A.A.'s own published literature, read in full, with every quote checked word for word against the page it cites. Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. What we read, and when each source was written.