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Are "Easy Does It," "First Things First" and "Live and Let Live" in the Big Book?

In short:

  • Yes, all three are in the 1939 program text. They close Chapter 9, "The Family Afterward," set out on their own lines: "We have three little mottoes which are apropos." (p. 135). "Live and let live" also appears in Chapter 8: "Live and let live is the rule." (p. 118).
  • The book doesn't explain them. It places them straight after a story about a wife who nagged her newly sober husband over his coffee and cigarettes until he got drunk in a fit of anger (p. 135). In that place they read as advice to a family about not making burning issues of small things.
  • Early members used them. Dr. Bob, in a 1948 letter, wrote that "Easy Does It" might be the best course in a dispute over A.A.'s services, and Bill's 1947 Grapevine essay says old-timers who once tried to run A.A. had come to find "Easy Does It" and "Live and Let Live" deeply meaningful.

Where they are

Searching the whole fourth-edition text, the three mottoes appear together only at the end of Chapter 9 (p. 135). "Live and let live" is also in Chapter 8, "To Wives" (p. 118). Our sources have only the fourth edition; the Preface says the program chapters have been "left largely untouched" since 1939 (p. xi), and Pass It On (1984) says the slogans "appear in the first edition of the Big Book (at the end of the chapter on 'The Family Afterward')" (Pass It On, 1984).

What they answer in Chapter 9 (pp. 132–135)

The last pages of Chapter 9 are about the family's life together after drinking stops. They say: "We are sure God wants us to be happy, joyous, and free." (p. 133); don't belittle a good doctor (p. 133); be patient with health, sex relations and the children (pp. 133–134). Then the chapter's final point: "Whether the family goes on a spiritual basis or not, the alcoholic member has to if he would recover." (p. 135).

Then the story. A recovering man smoked and drank too much coffee. His wife, meaning to help, nagged him about it, "and her intolerance finally threw him into a fit of anger. He got drunk." (p. 135). The book doesn't excuse him: "Of course our friend was wrong—dead wrong." (p. 135). Today he is an effective member who still smokes and drinks coffee, "but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment" (p. 135). "She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured." (p. 135).

Then: "We have three little mottoes which are apropos." (p. 135), and the three lines. The book adds nothing more, so what each means is left to the reader. Read where they stand, they fit the story: the drinking comes first; others' lesser habits can be let be; and pressure, even well meant, can do harm.

"Live and let live" in Chapter 8 (p. 118)

"To Wives" asks the wife not to expect too much too soon: the husband's ways of thinking and doing "are the habits of years" (p. 118). "Patience, tolerance, understanding and love are the watchwords." (p. 118). "Live and let live is the rule." (p. 118). And: "If you both show a willingness to remedy your own defects, there will be little need to criticize each other." (p. 118). Here too the motto is about not criticising each other in the home.

How early members used them

  • Dr. Bob, 1948. When Bill was pressing for a conference of delegates from the groups and the trustees resisted, Dr. Bob wrote to him in May 1948 that "for the moment, perhaps," Easy Does It "is the best course to follow" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). The letter is quoted in a 1980 book; it was written before 1950.
  • Bill W., 1947. In "Will A.A. Ever Have a Personal Government?", Bill says that old-timers who once felt called to "save the A.A. movement" from something had stopped playing Pharisee, "So those little maxims 'Easy Does It' and 'Live and Let Live' have come to be deeply meaningful and significant to them and to me." (P-17). There the mottoes are about members giving up trying to govern A.A.
  • Dr. Bob in Akron. Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (1980) has an Akron member remember Dr. Bob's hospital talks: "He always emphasized 'Easy Does It' and 'First Things First.'" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). Dr. Bob told him that "Easy Does It" doesn't mean staying home from meetings and letting others work the program for you, but taking it a day at a time (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). Asked about "First Things First," Dr. Bob is remembered answering with a Bible verse, "Seek ye first the kingdom of God" (Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers, 1980). These are recollections printed thirty years after his death.
  • The stories. "The Vicious Cycle" (Part I) ends, years after the writer's 1938 start, with "Our pet slogan is 'Easy Does It.'" (p. 231). Several fourth-edition stories quote the mottoes among other sayings (pp. 293, 300, 345, 357, 401).

Pass It On (1984) thinks it "probable" that the slogans began with Bill, who "brought them with him from Vermont" (Pass It On, 1984). Our sources have nothing earlier to confirm or contradict that.

Read it yourself

Sources

Source Pages Date
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 9, "The Family Afterward" 132–135 1939
Alcoholics Anonymous, Chapter 8, "To Wives" 118 1939
Preface xi fourth edition, 2001
"The Vicious Cycle," Part I; other stories in Part II 231; 293, 300, 345, 357, 401 fourth edition (2001)
P-17, "Will A.A. Ever Have a Personal Government?" — Grapevine, 1947
Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers (quoting Dr. Bob's May 1948 letter; members' recollections) — letter 1948; book 1980 (post-1950)
Pass It On — 1984 (post-1950)

Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. Quotations are brief and cited; the Big Book, Dr. Bob and the Good Oldtimers and Pass It On are © A.A. World Services, Inc.; P-17's articles are © AA Grapevine, Inc.

These pages answer questions about A.A. from A.A.'s own published literature, read in full, with every quote checked word for word against the page it cites. Recovery Starts is independent and not affiliated with Alcoholics Anonymous. What we read, and when each source was written.