One Alcoholic Talks With Another

A group can keep perfect order and still break Tradition One, if nobody in it ever talks to the new man. Picture a well-run meeting. It starts on time, the readings are read, the shares are good, the closing is said together. Then the regulars head for their cars in twos and threes, and the newcomer by the door, who came alone, goes home alone. Nobody was unkind. Nobody was anything. The Foreword to the Third Edition says where A.A. actually happens (Big Book, p. xxii): "In spite of the great increase in the size and the span of this Fellowship, at its core it remains simple and personal. Each day, somewhere in the world, recovery begins when one alcoholic talks with another alcoholic". The "great whole" of the Long Form (Big Book, p. 563) is made of those conversations, one drunk to another. A room of sober people who only talk to each other has become a closed circle, and a closed circle is a part of nothing. Today the gap often gets filled from outside: the newcomer leaves with a program's pamphlet and a counsellor's card instead of a member's phone number. Test it tonight: before you leave, find out whether the newest person in the room is going home with anyone's number.