Never Force Yourself

A.A.'s message is offered to a drinker who wants it, and a room run as a court's attendance office has traded that offer for an order. The Big Book's instructions for carrying the message (p. 90): "If he does not want to stop drinking, don't waste time trying to persuade him." And: "If he does not want to see you, never force yourself upon him." The whole approach rests on the drinker's own wanting. Today the forcing comes from outside. A court, a probation officer or a program orders someone to attend so many meetings and get a paper signed at each one. The group never chose this, and the Long Form says we "may refuse none who wish to recover" (p. 563), sent or not. The capture is quieter. The meeting rearranges its hour around the paper: a line for signatures, a chair whose real job is the stamp, a room half full of people counting meetings instead of drinks. The Long Form points the group at "the alcoholic who still suffers," the drinker, not the docket. A docket is a court's list of cases. Test it tonight: ask whether your meeting's routine is built for the drunk who wants out, or for the paper someone else wants signed.